


so will i.

by yojin (MnM_PD)



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, Implied Suicidal Attempt, M/M, Self-Indulgent, Song fic, ch392 spoilers, chapter 392 deteriorated my mental health tbh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-17
Updated: 2020-05-17
Packaged: 2021-03-03 00:13:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 881
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24225643
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MnM_PD/pseuds/yojin
Summary: washio makes konoha feel secure.
Relationships: Konoha Akinori/Washio Tatsuki
Comments: 4
Kudos: 21





	so will i.

**Author's Note:**

> mayb i should make a series titled “ch392 deteriorated my mental health tbh” tbfh.
> 
> and **PSA** : i’m a literal mess & idk if my sloppy works while physically sobbing deserve to be sent out to the world (or if konoha & wskn deserve to be written sloppily like this) but i want these thoughts out of me. :DDD

Konoha asked him once before, that what if he goes crazy, or what if he gets lost — what if he loses sight of himself, of what he has, of what is real? Washio simply kissed the center of his forehead and held him close, then he whispered that such a thing won’t happen, and even if it does, he trusts that Konoha would be able to find his way back to himself, to what he has, and to what is real. He trusts that Konoha would be able to find his way back to Washio where he would always be welcome to come home to.

* * *

When they lost to Ichibayashi, Konoha asked questions again, but this time more anxious, more unsure of himself. He weakly spoke, and his tone was not in need of answers as he verbally questioned himself; what if he doesn’t catch the dreams he’s been out there chasing?

Just like that day, his simple short toss to their ace ruined everything and brought the whole team’s dream to an unsightly end. It was his fault, his mistake, his shortcoming.

What if these fears keep showing up and he becomes too afraid to face them anymore? What if it swallows him whole?

Washio reached out to him and gently held his hand. He told him that he cannot fight Konoha’s battles, but he can be there to hold his hand just like this, their fingers interlocked, their palms slotted against each other perfectly in warmth, then he’d always remind Konoha that the sky will still be up there, and the sun will always shine. The stars will keep on falling for the ones who wish at night. The mountains won't start moving, and the rivers won't run dry. The world will always be there, and so will Washio.

* * *

Highschool ended, and then comes college. Things slowly started to alter; friendships, relationships and people seemed to differ and most of them not for the better.

One evening after coming back to their apartment from buying takeout, Konoha fisted the back of Washio’s shirt with cold hands and pale knuckles, his lower lip fiercely tucked in between his teeth. He told Washio that some things are noticeably changing and it‘s out of their control. He said those words slowly, like saying it in such a manner would delay it from happening.

Washio then turned his back from preparing their dinner and faced Konoha, deciding to wrap his arms around his waist and rest his eyes against the other’s neck. He assured Konoha with certainty that if things are changing, then they would just change together with them, and that they would just sing a different melody, and dance at a different rhythm.

They swayed side to side in that position, and Washio felt Konoha’s hands join together at his nape while he eases and relaxes towards his embrace. They didn’t need any music, they just needed the beat of their hearts as they stayed like that, dancing to the silence.

As they parted after a while, with Konoha’s hands sliding down Washio’s chest, he asked one more question.

_What if I give up?_

Washio tensed before he was able to force a smile, masking the ache that heavily gnawed on him at the thought of Konoha doing such a thing.

His grasp on Konoha’s wrist tightened, wishing it came off as comfort instead of his fright that Konoha might slip away, then he carefully answered in a gentle tone as to not let his voice crack.

_It’s the one thing I won’t let you do._

* * *

It was a conversation they had way back then. Konoha asked him what he should do when someone abandons him and leaves him empty handed. Washio didn’t really know what to say, not sure of the answer, but he told him that losing someone only teaches you to not take things for granted.

Right now, as he held Konoha’s cold hand, his eyes closed peacefully in a deep sleep Washio selfishly hopes he would wake up from quickly, Washio can’t remind himself that the sky would still be there, or that the sun will still keep shining. He kept on hoping for days to be better as he watched the stars fall at night, and yet now it feels like the mountains had started moving and the rivers had run dry.

But that doesn’t mean he’s given up, because he won’t let Konoha give up. He promised him he won’t let him do that, and so he tightens his hold around his hand, forces the grieving tears away and kisses Konoha’s knuckles.

_Even if the sky is falling, and the sun don’t want to shine._

He bites his lower lip to stop it from quivering, a memory of what Konoha looked like from an hour ago flashing inside his mind.

_If the stars we used to wish on disappear into the night._

He swallows down the thorns inside his throat, and he holds onto Konoha’s hand as if it’s both of their lifelines.

_I can move mountains, but only by your side._

A sob crawls out from his throat, and he almost begs.

_Just say you’ll always be there._

He prays.

_I know you’ll always be there._

He closes his eyes.

_And so will I_.

**Author's Note:**

> it was mostly just copy pasting the lyrics of [so will i by ben platt](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9VjDNOJHQ3g) but :D well, i wanted washio to tell konoha these things :D esp after ch392 :D
> 
> also, hopefully i translated my idea/concept into words bc Honestly i was cry*ng while writing this & the fic’s mood might have been set better with nicer words/structure if i wasn’t just so fucking affected.
> 
> anyway whatever i wrote this for me and if you’re here right now, thank u for reading. try not to be a konoha in this fic & if u are, honey, i love you.


End file.
